Running to Stand Still
by StoriesbyBella
Summary: When he left he took all I've ever loved. I was left with a part of him, that saves me everyday. I just didn't know what this love would cost. Nothing lasts when your young and in love.
1. Prologue: Love me and Leave me

**I don't own these characters. Jk, owns them. I make no money from tell my story. I do own the likenesses in my story and the events that I have lived through. **

**This story is one I know, because it's my own story or close to it, in context. It has been dramatized and changed to fit this fandom. I want people to respect this story and to take it for what it is. I'm not condoning the things I have done. I made my choices and no one can judge me for that. This story will later involve young teens having sex and mild drug abuse. It will also depict mild sexual abuse. At its heart, this story is about the love you can have for one person and the things you can overcome. **

**This chapter is for Opinionated1234 because she is an angel to me. This story is also for my daughter, who is my only saving grace at times. This entire idea is for Humperdinck, the boy who is everything to me and made me stronger but ripping my heart up and for loving me to a fault.**

**Prologue**

He left me. He hurt me. He ruined me. He lied to me. He fucked me. He killed me. He brought me back. He made me stronger. He changed me. Draco was never good enough and he was too good at the same time. He has power over me. He is everything I need to live. Draco is home. He is love. He is and always will be mine.

I hate him. I love him. I want him. I need him. I live for him. Draco has given me the world and taken it away withoutwarning. He walked away when I needed him most. He is a coward, but I've come to live with that. Draco is all that I am.

Some say we are unhealthy; I say we are fucked up. People say we are too messed up for each other; I say we are too fucked up for other people. Some think it's a show; I think he makes it a show. They say we are murder waiting to happen; I told them Draco is lucky to be alive. Pureblood women think I forced him into being with me, when it's always been the other way around.

People who know us never say anything because they see the fucked up love we have. They see our struggle to make itthrough every day. They see the man he should be and the boy he is, still. They have no idea why I love him, though, I do.

Under all our bullshit he is a loving father and a good boy. Draco loves me to a fault; he hurts me to protect me. He thinks he will save me. But he already has. He made me into the woman I am today. I'm strong because he left me. I'm loved because he came back to me. I'm better because he gave me a gift. That gift saves us every day. I count my coins with care now. I never know what to expect from him and that is fucked up. I know him, but I don't understand him. I never will. He will hurt me and leave me again, but I'll always wait for him. He leaves behind the love of his girls butI will forever belong to Draco Malfoy, and I'll never let go.

Love is fucked up, just like us. Love is mean, like Draco. Love is bitter, like me. Love is sweet, like Emily. Love is unforgiving, like Debbi. Love is spiteful, like Isabelle. Love is trouble, like Roxanne. Love is carefree, like Ginny. Love is sometimes hurtful, like Ron. Love is brave, like Harry. Love is enraged, like Brent. Love is life.

Love hard and love with all you got, because you never know when it will walk away.

I love him and that's forever, sometimes to my misfortune.

When he left me he took everything.

It was the end of everything I knew.

I'm running to stand still.


	2. Cassiopeia Soleil Malfoy

**Cassiopeia Soleil Malfoy **

I looked down at my swelling belly, I felt nothing be emptiness and anger; there was neither joy nor excitement. Where, was I to go from here? As, I looked at myself in the mirror my eyes were no longer vibrant, my hair hung long and lifeless just above my bulging belly. My once tanned skin was now, paling and dull. I looked like a shadow of the girl he loved, once. It was hard to believe, that I was now carrying a set of twins, and they belonged to him. It was so painfully obvious to the entire population that I was pregnant again; I felt the same shame as I did, not so many years ago. I felt ashamed of my choices, I just about to graduate from school and be thrust into a world full of magic; with three children, by age seventeen. I wanted to cry for the moments that I would never have, and the hardships to come. I wanted to let the dam of rejection and self-pity wash over me, cleansing away all of the abandonment I felt. However, I just could let go for the fear was too great. And, I would hide that, I was affected.

I left the seventh year girls' bathroom, as if nothing was wrong, when really my entire world was falling down upon me. As I sat on my bed, I took a deep breath and put on my best smile as Emily walked in hand in hand with my little girl. Emily was fifth year who, found my little girl enchanting and had become my close friend. Emily was a Gryffindor, but she never judged my choice in lovers, because of an ancient feud. She, judge him and his actions, which was refreshing at that time. As soon as I saw those stunning sparkling eyes of sliver, the pain was worth it. She ran to me, blonde curls bouncing and a huge joyful smile.

"Mommy!" She screamed as she jumped upon my bed, embracing my arm. Emily watched and smiled as I was attacked by my own child. I pulled her into my lap, kissing her tangled mane of curls and hugged her to me tightly. But, she soon wiggled free of my arms to play with some of her toys that littered then entire seventh year dorm. Emily took a seat next to me on my bed and watched her with a smile on her innocent face.

"Hermione, why did you pick the name Cassiopeia?" Emily asked with interest.

"It was the only name we agreed upon for her. I hated it in the beginning, but it has grown on me. It always made me, feel that she was ours, instead of just mine." I answered.

"Have, you thought of any other names?" She said.

"Persephone and Antigone, for two girls, Cassius and Lucian if I have two boys; however if I have a boy and a girl, their names will be Lucian and Persephone." I replied, deep in thought.

"Will they all be Grangers or Malfoys?" Emily asked, looking over at me with a serious look on her face.

"They will have their father's surname, just as Peia dose." She looked at me oddly as I answered her question. She looked almost outraged, and with that I let out a tense giggle. We now sat in complete quiet other, than Peia's playful sound effects; she was now smashing a toy broomstick with a little female rider into one of Lavender Brown's high heeled shoes. Emily and I were watching her with interest, as she began to make a huge mess in an already messy area. Peia, soon lost interest and, began to rummage through the toys that had ended up under the bed.

I rolled my eyes as my daughter simulated a tornado, and with a few flicks of my wand most of her toys assumed their rightful place in a few bins, next to my bed. Peia then turned around and began to frown at me. I smiled at her, as she turned around to dig in another area of the dormitory, looking for whatever suited her fancy this this time. Emily was now fiddling with her pleated skirt.

"Peia, do you want to go down to the commons to see Ron and Harry?" I called to her standing up.

"Yeah, momma!" She wailed excitedly. Emily got up heading for the door and down to the common room, with Peia in tow. I fallowed quickly and found myself looking at the two people, who my daughter always wanted to see. Peia was quickly seated in Ron's lap, whispering in his ear and he found whatever she said extremely amusing. Harry was off to the side, with The Daily Profit in front of his face, I could hear him reading aloud quietly as I took a seat next to Ronald on the comfy couch. Harry, looked down from his paper as I sat down. He gave me a reassuring smile, before he discarded his paper; giving Peia his attention. Peia jumped from Ron's lap to Harry's in a flash. She was given kisses and then was tickled till her cheeks were rosy and her eyes were tearing up with amusement and joy. Somehow, the wild little child moved from Harry's lap around the common room; checking out what everyone was doing. Soon, Peia settled on watching Dean and Cormac play Wizard's Chess, Dean invited Peia to sit on his knee and he began explaining the moves to the little blonde child.

Harry, was watching me intently. His eyes, running upon my slowly changing figure and up to my face, it felt like that he could see right through me. His quickly got up and I fallowed him. I nodded at Ron, who would stay and keep an eye on my daughter.

I fallowed Harry out into the hallway; he was leaning on the railing, looking right through me again. I turned to him, looking in his eyes.

"Why, won't you try for me?" he asked me.

"It is not that easy to forget, someone you love" I answered quietly.

"Then, why not for your children?" he questioned me again.

"It is not right either way, Harry." I answered again, feeling the hurt bubble up inside again.

"I don't fucking understand, 'Mione. You will just forgive him, when he wants you again. I don't know why I bother with you this way anymore." He grunted in annoyed.

"I don't know why you ever did." I replied looking at my feet.

With that Harry, stormed off. Just like he always did in those days. And, I felt the tears come again as I sat down in front of the portrait hole. I sobbed too hard, to hear the footfalls that were heading for the landing that I was sitting on in that moment. The person kneeled down and pulled my sobbing form in their strong arms. Arms that felt like home at one time, the strong arms hugged me closer to the man I long for. He hushed me and held my pregnant form to his slender one. I just let him hold me. I didn't fight as I normally would have or screamed obscene words at him for his betrayal and abandonment of his daughter.

His lips found my skin and as he sat us down on the stairs.

"Hermione." He said against the crock of my neck.

Then, the spell was broken.


End file.
